Who I Really Am
by Choco.Sushi.Nut
Summary: Have you wondered what some of Mako's thoughts were near the end of the season? Very Makorra. Read & Review. Creative licensing on a few scenes...


**A/N:** I don't own Legend of Korra. I just watched the whole series back-to-back, so events may be out of order, but it's a story. So where it separates from canon is creative writing, I guess. Makorra.

* * *

It actually felt like it was cracking. Was that possible? For the heart to crack open, that is. It certainly felt that way. The pain was sharp and he found it difficult to breathe normally. His breaths were coming out in short spurts. It just felt all wrong. He felt so helpless, so full of regret. If we can't find her… But he did not dare finish the thought. It was different this time. It was confusing. He did not understand his feelings, or what he was feeling. He was reacting much differently than when his brother went missing and he did not understand why. Could I have done something...anything differently? But he knew the answer. How could he have done anything? How could anyone have done anything, when no one would have even thought that a councilman, someone charged with protecting the people of Republic City would do anything this drastic… or desperate.

He felt this strong need or desire to find her alive to tell her what he had known along. But, it was all messed up. He had messed up. He thought back to conversation that he had with his baby brother. Avatar Korra is not dateable. What a fool he was to deceive his own self. The confession and kiss had changed the dynamic of their relationship, whether he realized it or not. He felt like he did not even deserve her… and he certainly did not deserve the girl he was currently dating.

Am I dating Asami because I like her? Because she's pretty? Because she conveniently has so much money… Bolin and I would never need to worry about when the next meal was coming...

The answer was blatant and it made him grit his teeth as energy surged through him. Fire consumed him as he flung it into the water off the cliff he was sitting on– potentially, the safest place for it go. At the end of it, he let out a choked breath, falling to his knees. The truth hurt, in a way, but mostly it set him free. Utterly free. The tears streamed down his face. He was not sure if she -Asami, Korra- would understand, but he knew that he could not drag things out. It would be unfair and painful for everyone involved. Looking up, he could barely speak, and mouthing the words to no one in particular, he whispered passionately, "Please forgive me…"

"Mako?" The tenderness of his baby brother, followed by the chirping and rustling of his restless little friend approached. He did not even try to hide the pain. "Hey, man. We're going to find her. Master Tenzin is going to be sending out a search party soon… we are going to find her." They silently recalled the most recent incident with the Equalist encampment. Everyone was found, except her. And Mako most nearly lost control of himself trying to find her whereabouts. Now they knew who had her, but after being incapacitated by the bloodbender himself, they had to return to Air Temple Island to recuperate, which was where they currently were located.

It's happening again… He felt like a kid again with a helpless feeling gnawing its way out. Just moments before he and his little brother were destined to be street rats. The precise instant where life as he knew it shattered into so many intricate, deadly pieces. DAMN IT. It's happening again. He vowed that he would never let anyone in again. After the incident… after his parents were mercilessly taken away. And now here he was again. At a loss. Somehow she had woven her way in whether he realized it or not. Who am I kidding? I was clueless. I'm an absolute fool for not noticing it before… But then there was that guilt of leading Asami on. It truly was complicated, but he would set things right.

"Let's go then. What are we waiting for?" His voice was still a bit raw from a combination of his rage and despair.

"Ok… c'mon Pabu."

* * *

His breath caught, but this time in pure elation. The unfortunate thing was that his breath, heart, and brain were not working in sync and they should have been and it was causing his head to swim and chest to hurt. She's alive.

"Give her some space!" He cried frantically to the council member and former chief of police. They're blocking her air. But, nearly involuntarily, he fervently shoved his way through to her. He didn't care what people thought. He just had to see her, see that she was breathing, see that she was alright. Scooping her into his arms, he murmured almost as a promise, "I never want to lose you again. Never." Gently placing her in the seat, he tucked a few loose strands and smiled wearily. "You're safe now."

It was returned with a weak, "Hi," before she drifted into much needed sleep. In the days that followed, he refused to leave her side, fearing that she would disappear again, unreasonable as that may have sounded especially in the condition she was in. The attention did not go unnoticed.

* * *

"Mako-"

"Asami, I-"

"I know."

"Huh?"

"Mako. Do I look stupid? I just wish I wasn't the last person to know. I felt really foolish finding out bits and pieces from Ikki and Bolin."

"This probably is too little too late, but I am truly sorry for this ride we've been on."

"Why? You were too blockheaded to realize how you feel." She smirked, trying unsuccessfully to mask her hurt feelings. "We both were."

"Friends?" Running his hand sheepishly through his hair, he knew the answer though. He wished he could express how much he appreciated who she was, but the words couldn't formulate on his lips.

"Uh...I think… not right now…"

"I understand. I am here, though, if you need to talk or something." It was all he could really offer, an affectionate shoulder, in the brotherly sense.

"Or something. Thanks."

* * *

"Let her go!" Anger pulsed through him in uneven spurts as he ground his teeth in pure fury, once again, helpless. If he kept this attitude up, he was pretty soon going to be breathing fire. Will I never be able to protect the ones I love? He had lay there feebly trying to free himself from the grip of the evil revolutionary. It may have been foolish, but it seemed Amon's hold weakened since his intent was on the girl. Of course, the Avatar… how glorious would it be to subdue her, he thought bitterly. But now was his golden opportunity, and he let his anger fuel him as the fire left his fingertips and suddenly impacted the unsuspecting target. Do NOT underestimate me.  
Oh, Amon did not. After the initial shock wore off, he brought his attacker abruptly to his knees. "You're one of few to catch me off guard. Pity."

"MAKO! NO!" Energy surged through her like never before. She would not let that monster, that liar, that thief, take away his skills too. She almost became stupid with adrenaline.

"Impossible."

"I... I can airbend. I can airbend!" She looked incredulously at the young man on his knees, who shared the same expression. Her blood thickened and she felt the dark pull of Amon's power. "NO. YOU. DON'T." She grunted out as she literally stepped out of his blood-blending attempt and with that, a gust of strong focused air left her and shot her attacker quite literally out of the window into the watery depths below.

"Thank you, Korra."

"Don't mention it."

"You're amazing."

"Don't. Mention. It." He could see that the distraughtness of losing her identity washing over her features because that is what Amon essentially did. All he wanted to do was embrace and whisper strength into her. Tell her everything was going to be okay. But he could not. Well he could, but he had a sneaking suspicion that she would kill him or something close.

They tried to attack the escaping coward, but the battle was over, the Revolution dead. They had won, but nobody felt like celebrating.

* * *

"I just can't believe Amon got you too." The former chief of police shook her head wearily.

"Hey! Cheer up! At least you unlocked your airbending, Korra!"

"Bro... not the time." Mako shook his head, smiling internally. Of course his baby brother would try to cheer the Avatar up. He always was the positive one... He had made sure of that.

"Right, right, I'll just stand over here. Quietly. In silence. Zip."

Korra tried to smile, but there was nothing to smile about. Her mentor reassured that it would be alright, that everything would work itself out, like the seasons, but that was the last thing she wanted to hear. "No. It's really not." And then she had this overwhelming sensation to leave. There was just so many people and they were all looking at her with pity. She abhorred it... and felt weak. She needed air and space.

"Korra, wait!"

"Go away."

Driving me crazy as usual... "I will, promise! But I just want you to know, I'm here for you." He reached where she was walking away and put a hand on her shoulder, which she abruptly shook off.

"No. I mean, go away. Go back to Republic City and just... get on with your life."

A little shocked, he replied, "What are you talking about?" Where would I go? Where else could I go?

As if it was clear as day, because she completely had misjudged her friend, her matter-of-fact response pierced deep in his heart, "I'm not the Avatar anymore. You don't need to do me any favors."

"Korra," his voice reverberated with both emotion and passion, "A few months ago we didn't know each other and now I can't imagine my life without you in it…you're the most loyal, brave, selfless person I've ever known. I don't care if you're the Avatar or not... when Tarrlok took you, I was losing my mind at the thought of never seeing you again, I realized... I love you, Korra."

Breath-taken and mind-blown, she whispered, "I... I can't." She shook her head as she felt she was going into overdrive. Too much... Tears burned as she spun 180 degrees to get away from everyone and everything. Need to breathe...

"Give her some time." The wizened airbender encouraged the young love-struck firebender, who nodded curtly in reply.

I won't be giving up any time soon. "C'mon Napa, let's go for a stroll." And they gently followed the scent of the Avatar.


End file.
